My Nursing Woes

I am looking forward to most newborn things except for the dreaded nursing.

I fortunately was able to nurse both girls until their first birthday but it was not the most pleasant experience.  Kate was not a good nurser, period. She was so sleepy but I had been told how important it was to nurse every 2hrs during the day and every 3hrs during the night to establish a good milk supply.  I would spend a minimum of an hour usually feeding Kate at the beginning. She took 45 minutes to eat then at least 15 minutes was spent keeping her awake. Which means I got an hour break during the day and about a 2 hour break during the night. That’s not much time to shower, eat, sleep, go to the store… It was so hard to leave the house because by the time I was done feeding her I had such a short window before she needed to eat again. Abby was a much faster eater. Honestly that made a world of difference. But she was a hungry baby and wanted to eat more often, so I think she was eating every 2hrs for a long time. Which still leaves you with a pretty short window for getting out and doing anything.

Then there was the pain, oh the pain. I know for a fact I was still in bad pain from nursing Kate at my 6 week checkup. I can’t remember for sure when it went away. Again, Abby only hurt for the first couple of weeks which was much nicer!

I for some reason tend to get anxiety later in my pregnancy and then while nursing. I think it has a little to do with maybe feeling claustrophobic, being stuck. When you’re nursing you can’t move or get up to help your other child and you have to wait until the baby is finished which can be as long as the baby wants.
Social Stigma. I personally think society makes it hard to nurse and turns nursing into a very isolated experience at times. Yes, this could be considered my own personal issue but I’m just not comfortable with stripping down naked in front of people. At the beginning you almost have to be topless while trying to get the hang of it which means I need to leave the room if anyone is over. Kate didn’t like to nurse with a cover so I always had to go by myself to feed her if we were around any people or in public. When Abby got a little older I could nurse with a cover but still didn’t feel comfortable if we were in a public place like a restaurant or such. Which meant there were a few nursing sessions sitting on a toilet. Fun times.

Tired! A lactation expert also told me while it’s good to give the baby a bottle once a week (starting not before 5 weeks and not after 7 weeks) I should not do that during the night feedings ever, since that’s the babies longest stretch and your supply could diminish. Which means Jason could never feed the baby during the night…

Pumping. I think I just didn’t have the best pump. After a few months I would pump every single night for about 30 minutes. That way I would have milk for a bottle and a back up supply just in case. Later I started pumping every morning so I could mix it with oatmeal/rice cereal.

Yet I still nurse and will try to nurse this baby. It’s not all bad. Looking back I do think the alone time, whether forced or not, really was a bonding time between me and my girls. Plus, it does get easier and better.  Around 3 months is a changing point then by 6 months it’s a breeze. Jason has to go into work every day programming and working with numbers then come home and take over by playing/bathing/putting the kids to bed so I probably wouldn’t make him get up during the night anyway. My girls had no trouble with eating oatmeal since it was practically straight milk at first. I have a husband who supports and encourages me and helps in anyway possible. Ironically some of my favorite times were sitting in the rocking chair in the middle of the night holding my baby while she eats knowing this was something only I could do. They grow up so fast and I need to be forced to slow down and fully appreciate them as little babies. There are of course the other basic reasons you always hear about too.

So, who knows what will happen with this baby. Hopefully, I’ll be able to nurse, but if not I know I will be able to tell myself I tried. I also know that if it doesn’t work out, I’ll be sad and disappointed, but okay. I may obsess about nursing but know it’s not the most important thing in my child’s life!